


The Blake's 7 Top Ten Things to Do for Fun When You Join the Rebellion

by Gozer



Series: List World [2]
Category: Blake's 7
Genre: Dark Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-10 22:58:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5604115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gozer/pseuds/Gozer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>*Points at Title*</p><p>That's about it, right there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Blake's 7 Top Ten Things to Do for Fun When You Join the Rebellion

**Author's Note:**

> If you're a fan of B7, you probably have a very high tolerance for dark humor -- or dark humour if you're a Brit or Brit-adjacent -- so I hope your psyche won't be irreparably harmed by the following David Lettermanesque list. This was written in the 80s and I believe it appeared in one of the DSV zines I published back then. As with most humo(u)r, if you don't know the subject, the jokes will sail over your head.

**The Blake's 7**

**Top Ten**

**Things to Do for Fun**

**When You Join the Rebellion***

**by Teenygozer**

 

10.  Shout "No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!" when you burst into Federation Outposts.

9.    Ask your supervisor what an Adromedan looks like, then start crying when she tells you.

8.    In front of newbie recruits, discuss under exactly what circumstances high-hazard pay may be awarded.  Then inquire about the Rebellion's Death-and-Dismemberment Insurance.

7.    Spill Soma on valuable equipment during your first hour of work, then demand a raise at the end of the day.

6.    Wear a Federation "beekeeper" helmet you got on a raid.  Ram your head into people's bellies.

5.    Paint a bulls-eye on the back of your co-workers' uniform jackets.

4.    Wear underwear over your clothes.  Ask fellow rebels if they missed the memo on the on the new dress code.

3.    Kiss Kerr Avon on the mouth and tell him you trust him!

2.    Put out a 'zine using the copier designated for printing propaganda flyers.

       . . . and the number one Blake's 7 Thing to Do for Fun When You Join The Rebellion is:

1.    Whenever someone asks a question, reply angrily, "Hey, don't ask me!  I thought this was sleep-away camp!"

 

 

*Equally fun if you've joined Federation Space Command.


End file.
